Losing Grip
by NotAContrivance
Summary: A songfic to Losing Grip by Avril. It's not what you think...


Losing Grip  
  
Are you aware of what  
  
You make me feel, baby  
  
Jack has just finished visiting Irina. She smiles and watches him leave. After she can no longer see him, she practically runs back to her bed. She flops down on it and smiles a giddy smile at the ceiling. She starts laughing merrily. While she is laughing, she rolls over and kicks her legs and sighs.  
  
Right now I feel invisible to you  
  
Like I'm not real  
  
Irina is outside on the roof. She sees Jack and runs to him. She hugs him. He seems to be looking past her. She waves a hand in front of his face, but he does not respond. Irina frowns and starts talking. Jack continues ignoring her. She gets a very sad look in her eyes and turns away, eyes tearing up.  
  
Didn't you feel me lock  
  
My arms around you  
  
Why'd you turn away  
  
Irina is in a safehouse. She pushes Jack against a wall. She wraps her arms around him. She is starting to kiss him. Jack has a rather sad look in his eyes and he turns away from her. Irina starts crying.  
  
Here's what I have to say  
  
I was left to cry there  
  
Waiting outside there  
  
Grinning with a lost stare  
  
Irina and Jack are talking at Irina's cell. Jack looks at his watch and begins to leave. Irina smiles and then realizes that she has forgotten something. As he turns around, Irina says something. It probably was important to Irina. Jack turns around for a brief second, with a rather cold look on his face, and says something that was hurtful. He leaves her there, without another word. She goes to her bed and begins sobbing into it. She cries for a long time.  
  
That's when I decided...  
  
Why should I care  
  
Irina picks her head up off the tear-stained pillow. You can suddenly see her face harden. Her eyes blaze, and you can tell that she has silently vowed revenge against Jack.  
  
'Cause you weren't there  
  
When I was scared  
  
I was so alone  
  
Irina is asleep in her bed. She starts thrashing violently. She is having a nightmare. She wakes up a few minutes later, sweating and panting for breath. She looks around for someone, but no one is there. She sighs sadly and sinks into the blankets.  
  
You need to listen  
  
I'm starting to trip  
  
I'm losing my grip  
  
And I'm in this thing alone  
  
Irina is sitting on her bed. She looks over to the window and frowns. She is propped up on her elbows and she suddenly slips into a lying position. She bangs her head into the pillow and covers her head with it. She then rolls over, frustrated. She massages her temples and sighs heavily.  
  
Am I just some chick  
  
You placed beside you  
  
To take somebody's place  
  
When you turn around  
  
Can you recognize my face  
  
Irina and Jack are sleeping. Irina turns over and looks at Jack, who is still sleeping. She seems to ponder something with a rather sad look about her and then decides on something. She taps Jack on the shoulder. He wakes up and turns to her. He says a name. The wrong name. Irina grabs the blanket, wraps it around herself and runs away. She is crying, with some tears splashing in the air around her running form.  
  
You used to love me  
  
You used to hug me  
  
**FLASHBACK**  
  
Jack and Irina are in a park, they look much younger. Jack bends down on one knee and gets out a black velvet box. He opens it and asks her the question. Irina runs to him and kisses him hard. Jack and Irina embrace as she puts the ring on.  
  
But that wasn't the case  
  
Everything wasn't okay  
  
**FLASHBACK**  
  
Jack and Irina are in their house. Jack leaves the room. Irina grabs his briefcase and whips out what looks like a small camera. She does the combination and opens it. She leafs through the papers carefully and quickly, wearing gloves. She photographs the dossiers and puts them back, closing the briefcase seconds before Jack arrives.  
  
I was left to cry there  
  
Waiting outside there  
  
Grinning with a lost stare  
  
Irina and Jack are in a train yard. Jack is slowly walking away from Irina. Irina runs up and says something flirty. Jack shocks her with something, and walks away. Irina just stands there, paralyzed. Tears stream down her face.  
  
That's when I decided...  
  
Why should I care  
  
You can see Irina stop crying. She looks hollow and stoic. She stares out into nothingness defiantly. She then walks back into the sunset.  
  
'Cause you weren't there  
  
When I was scared  
  
I was so alone  
  
Irina is in a deserted alleyway at night. It's a dangerous neighboorhood. And it's raining. Irina has water on her face that's dripping down the blanket covering her. She's just staring out at nothing. The water on her face is mingling with her tears. Irina involuntarily shivers and looks down, lonely.  
  
You need to listen  
  
I'm starting to trip  
  
I'm losing my grip  
  
Irina and Jack are in a warehouse. Jack is walking away. Irina runs after him. She gets really close to him, and begins to trip in a puddle. She grabs unto Jack's sleeve for support. He shrugs her off and she falls, face first into the puddle and starts crying, her tears hit the floor.  
  
And I'm in this thing alone  
  
Irina walks to a bathroom. She looks a bit fearful. She swallows and steps up to the mirror. She looks over to the test. Positive. She swallows and bangs her head into the wall twice. She cries and the tears drip down the mirror. She slumps to the floor, still crying.  
  
Crying out loud  
  
Irina is crying while running, wrapped in a blanket.  
  
I'm crying out loud  
  
Irina is crying in the lonely alley, in the rain.  
  
Crying out loud  
  
Irina is crying on the wet floor of the warehouse.  
  
I'm crying out loud  
  
Irina is crying in the bathroom.  
  
Open your eyes  
  
Open up wide  
  
Irina's eyes slowly open. She gets out of bed and sees Syd. She walks over to the glass and begins opening up to Syd. By the end of this, both are crying.  
  
Why should I care  
  
If you don't care, then I don't care  
  
We're not going anywhere  
  
Irina and Jack are arguing at her cell. Jack says something that shocks Irina. Irina repeats it. They both look shocked and turn away.  
  
'Cause you weren't there  
  
When I was scared  
  
I was so alone  
  
Irina is in a black space. She shivers a bit. And walks around in circles, looking for someone, anyone. She frowns and disappears. She wakes up, alone in her cell. And she is depressed.  
  
THE END 


End file.
